{"id":8952,"date":"2018-02-05T08:57:39","date_gmt":"2018-02-05T16:57:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.paladinregistry.com\/?p=8952"},"modified":"2023-02-01T23:18:41","modified_gmt":"2023-02-02T04:18:41","slug":"shame-wealth-shamers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/","title":{"rendered":"Shame On You Wealth Shamers!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Poverty may not be easy, but having wealth comes with its own set of challenges. Consider some of the messaging you\u2019ve heard since childhood. Certain religious strands portray the wealthy as particularly sinful. It seems like the villain in every fictional story is rich: Shakespeare\u2019s Shylock, the miserly money lender; Dickens\u2019 Ebenezer Scrooge; Lex Luthor. Then there was Robin Hood, who robbed from the rich to feed the poor. Wealth-shaming has become a favorite pastime of our society. <\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_68_1 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-69e7a61feaf33\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-69e7a61feaf33\"  aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/#Online_Shaming\" title=\"Online Shaming\">Online Shaming<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/#Roots_of_Wealth_Shame\" title=\"Roots of Wealth Shame\">Roots of Wealth Shame<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/#Bullying_Beliefs_and_Behaviors\" title=\"Bullying, Beliefs and Behaviors\">Bullying, Beliefs and Behaviors<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/#A_Healthier_Way\" title=\"A Healthier Way\">A Healthier Way<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/blog\/advisors\/shame-wealth-shamers\/#Shaming_the_Shamers\" title=\"Shaming the Shamers\">Shaming the Shamers<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Online_Shaming\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Online Shaming<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">With the rise of the Internet and social media, the power of freedom of speech has risen to a new level. Ideas can be communicated more rapidly and to a larger breadth of people than ever before in human history. The downside is that we all now live in glass houses, which may not protect us from the elements \u2013 namely narcissism, voyeurism and bullying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">And no corner of society is left unscathed. It is pretty ridiculous to see the shaming that happens on social media to people who are giving. Yes, they are being shamed for giving.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Case in point: An author shared that he was inspired by his father-in-law\u2019s creative way of spreading holiday cheer \u2013 by dropping $100 tips to every single worker at Waffle House on Christmas Eve \u2013 and that he was planning to do the same thing with his children and family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Then he was criticized and shamed on social media. Repeatedly. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">An attorney has also found several creative ways to give back. What does he receive for his good deeds? Criticism and shaming on LinkedIn. And lots of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Why would you shame someone for giving? It could stem from beliefs about what it means to be meek or humble, which are the same beliefs that can lead to wealth shaming.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Roots_of_Wealth_Shame\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Roots of Wealth Shame<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Wealth shaming: Also called status shaming, class shaming or success shaming.<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Every 10 years or so, America goes through a cyclical downturn and it\u2019s always the rich to blame. This is because the Great Depression and recent 2007 financial crisis (aka \u201cThe Great Recession\u201d) originated from bank failures whose root cause was, essentially, raw and unmitigated American greed. The Occupy Movement declared war on Corporate America and implicit within was the demonization of the rich. Our economic history has tarnished our culture and fostered a wrongful belief that the moral caliber of wealthy people is inherently flawed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">It seems like wealth shaming is something we\u2019re taught from an early age. I can recall social-studies classes in seventh and eighth grade. One day we had a particularly lively debate when asked, \u201cShould the rich pay more taxes than everyone else?\u201d The majority response was, \u201cOf course they should pay a higher rate than everyone else. It\u2019s only fair.\u201d Translation: Shame on the rich.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Even though my family had very modest means, and both of my parents grew up poor, I never bought into wealth shaming because I knew I wanted to be successful. I didn\u2019t understand why everyone else in class didn\u2019t want to see themselves the same way. I didn\u2019t see success and wealth in a negative way, but a lot of my teachers and classmates did. These attitudes persisted when I went to a university. These early experiences and messages can shape how we see ourselves and the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">But what if these messages are wrong? <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Bullying_Beliefs_and_Behaviors\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Bullying, Beliefs and Behaviors<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Wealth shaming is a form of socially acceptable bullying. It\u2019s wrong to demonize a minority or someone who has health or cash-flow problems, yet the 1% are freely and regularly bashed by the world. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Affluent people are repeatedly made to believe they came into their wealth by luck and don\u2019t really deserve it or that they are morally flawed individuals. These negative stigmas toward the wealthy manifest themselves in behaviors such as poor decision making, reluctance to speak openly with a spouse about money or the tendency to even downright lie to conceal the truth. I know of one client in which the wife grew up in a well-to-do family while the husband came from humble means. He\u2019s very open about his finances while she avoids the subject at all costs. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">At our initial meeting, another client, who has a net worth approaching $10 million, told me, \u201cNobody knows. If my sister knew, she\u2019d fall out of her chair.\u201d Many people, including her own family, would treat her differently if they knew.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Sometimes it\u2019s as seemingly innocuous as needing more guidance but not wanting to ask for help for fear of letting your affluence be known.\u00a0Just like the patient who is so afraid to hear the diagnosis, living in fear is not going to make the situation any better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Wealth shaming creates tension, discord and most of all behaviors that just hold people back from what they really want. The worst: Silence. Financial struggles of the impecunious, health problems, sexuality, politics and religion can all be discussed openly, but nobody wants to hear about \u201crich-people problems.\u201d The affluent are led to keep their wealth a secret, suffering from the demons of wealth shame alone.<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">If we don\u2019t have money, we face stress, anxiety, guilt, shame, even depression. And if we do? Stress, anxiety, guilt, shame and even depression. <\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_Healthier_Way\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">A Healthier Way<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">In my years as a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.paladinregistry.com\/landing\/find-financial-advisors?kwd=shame_wealth_shamers&amp;pagetype=blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><strong>financial advisor<\/strong><\/a>, I\u2019ve worked with many clients who go about their wealth in a healthy and productive way. These are the folks who tend to their assets but don\u2019t obsess about their wealth. People who focus on developing their own interests, identity and a sense of self that is defined outside of their net worth tend to have more success in managing wealth shame. I call this \u201chealthy detachment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">One of the best things about having wealth is that you have the means to nurture and give to others, to open doors for them or help relieve their suffering. Giving feels great! A client of mine looks forward to using her qualified charitable distribution from her IRA every year to help others. She excitedly makes her list of charitable beneficiaries for the year and exclaims, \u201cI get to play Santa!\u201d<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Participating in acts of charity also helps you stay in touch with reality and empathize with others. People who are relatable are well received. It is a great way to repel the wealth shaming vibe. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Encouraging your family to get involved with philanthropy is a clever way to instill solid values into your children while combatting the \u201crich villain\u201d stigma at the same time. I have found that helping my clients learn about charitable giving and philanthropy has done great things for their families. Their giving connects them more closely to their children and grandchildren and is a great experience for the entire family.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Shaming_the_Shamers\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Shaming the Shamers<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Are you afraid to talk about your money? Email me and we can discuss, but don\u2019t worry \u2013 there\u2019s no shaming here! <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">Karen Coyne, CFP\u00ae, is a strategic wealth advisor in Hagerstown, Maryland. With more than 15 years of experience, she helps doctors make smart financial decisions so they can focus on what they do best. This information has been obtained from sources considered to be reliable, but we do not guarantee that the foregoing material is accurate or complete. Any opinions are those of KAREN COYNE, CFP\u00ae and not necessarily those of RJFS or Raymond James.<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: Calibri;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Poverty may not be easy, but having wealth comes with its own set of challenges. Consider some of the messaging you\u2019ve heard since childhood. Certain religious strands portray the wealthy as particularly sinful. It seems like the villain in every fictional story is rich: Shakespeare\u2019s Shylock, the miserly money lender; Dickens\u2019 Ebenezer Scrooge; Lex Luthor. Then there was Robin Hood, who robbed from the rich to feed the poor. Wealth-shaming<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":8953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[325],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8952","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advisors"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Shame On You Wealth Shamers!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Wealth shaming is a form of socially acceptable bullying. But why would you shame someone for giving? 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She specializes in working alongside entrepreneurial physicians, dentists and other successful professionals and families to navigate a clear path toward their long-term financial goals, enabling them to continue focusing on what they do best and care about most. Karen is also a financial author and writer, with articles published by Medical Economics, Physician\u2019s Practice and DentistryIQ.com. Karen has attained the prestigious CFP\u00a9 certification; holds Series 7, 24 and 63, and life and health insurance licenses; and is a Registered Principal and Investment Management Consultant (IMC). She earned a bachelor\u2019s degree in art history from the American University of Paris, France. Karen is a member of the Financial Planning Association. 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